My iPod is Possessed by the Devil.

My iPod is possessed.

I’m convinced it’s the devil’s work. Who else would put Madonna’s Immaculate Collection on shuffle for an entire 14-mile slog in the middle of a wet and humid August? The infernal machine decided to skip from Track 3 to Track 12 and completely ruined any sense of continuum. Then, just for laughs, it decided to jump from track 15 to track 5. Yes: it skipped backwards. It was like it had mixed itself up with a Shuffle, but it could only play one particular Madonna album.

And frankly, my running habit is already too expensive to permit the purchase of a replacement, non-possessed iPod. Besides, a replacement would probably just get infected by some iTunes download. My only hope is that the devil will decide to haunt, say, one of my inexpensive lamps, which I could then pitch and replace without qualms. Because two and a half months of training to Madonna and only Madonna is not really going to work. No, really. I love Madge as much as the next girl, but I need variety.

Maybe I shouldn’t have bought the red one. In retrospect, that might have been asking for it. Although, I’m sort of convinced that Apple is actually the devil incarnate; maybe that was where I went wrong. Because it isn’t like this is the first iPod I’ve burned through.

That’s right: apparently I’m the only person in the world who thinks Apple products are a stupid waste of money. This being my second iPod, I can guarantee you I won’t be forking over any more money to that company until they start producing a product that works for longer than one friggin’ day after the warranty expires. Even with the damn warranty, every time you walk in to a Mac store for help from a Mac “genius” you have to fork over $60 and get a lecture about how you, a mere human, don’t deserve the absolute awesomeness that is whatever overpriced tech gadget currently malfunctioning in your hot little hand. Hahaha, you thought “genius” referred to being able to fix your machine? WRONG. It describes their facility for weaseling your credit card out of your wallet.

This is why I don’t buy Apple products. The company just sucks to deal with, and its products are attractive little boxes into which disappear your data, time, and money. At least with PCs I can get in there and mess around with the bits until they work again, if tech support is useless (which is often the case). Or at least retrieve my data without paying some zit-faced teenager three hundred dollars to scowl at me for actually trying to use whatever lovely but nonperforming piece of crap I’m bringing in.

Do I sound cranky? You’d be cranky too after hearing Madge for two and a half hours straight. I hate it when my equipment doesn’t perform. And it isn’t just my iPod that’s failed me of late. My expensive new Enell bras have chafed me badly enough to leave scars half an inch wide and two inches long on my torso. Which means I’m still without adequate bosom support, and will likely have to fork over money I don’t have for more bras I can’t return if they don’t work out.

Riddle me this, readers: why is it so damn hard to find:

• A functioning iPod
• A bra that holds your tatas in place without rubbing your skin off in big bloody patches that really sting when you’re sweating through mid-August long runs
• running shorts with pockets and WITHOUT some weird mesh liner intended to keep men’s balls in place but thoughtlessly replicated and foisted upon running women

Seriously. Who designs this shit? Whomever does the market research for these products ought to be fired. Maybe tortured by being sent on a 14-mile forced march while listening to “Vogue” on repeat.

I did have one minor breakthrough today, however: when I came home and took off my shoes, there was blood on my sock! That’s right – I have ventured into the territory reserved for real runners, where your feet begin bleeding partway through a run. Honestly, I was so annoyed with my iPod that I didn’t even notice any pain. Apparently one of my toenails was just a smidge too long and it cut into the neighboring toe during my run. What can I say? It made me feel kind of macho. I’m no glutton for punishment, however; I went out and bought a new pair of running shoes in a half-size larger than usual to prevent that from happening again. I may even buy some of those weird socks that encase your toes individually.

I also decided to try Shot Blocks from Clif Bar & Co. instead of gels during my run today. I liked them! They didn’t give me weird stomach issues like the gels sometimes do, so I think I’ll have to get more. So the run wasn’t totally worthless and painful. I discovered a new product that is a real improvement over my previous solution, and I managed to shave a couple of minutes off my half marathon time as compared to my time in the Brooklyn Half Marathon on May 30th: today I ran the same distance in 2:13:34, while my time last May was 2:15:52.

So progress is happening, in baby steps. In the meantime, if anyone knows a good exorcist, preferably one specializing in demonic iPods, by all means let me know!

Jumping on the Recession Bandwagon: The Cost of Running

This morning’s Wall Street Journal had an interesting article about a marathoner named Seth Matheson, who has multiple sclerosis. Apart from being impressed with his incredible dedication to running and resulting race results, what struck me was the section on how much Seth spends on gear each year:

“Mr. Matheson estimates that he spends about $1,000 a year on workout clothing. Overheating is one of the symptoms associated with MS so Mr. Matheson buys wick-proof clothing which repels sweat (he prefers Nike Dri-Fit shirts). He will also wear organic cotton T-shirts and built-in compression shorts, which are similar to bike shorts. He wears Saucony Progrid Ride sneakers ($85) and usually goes through three to four pairs a year.

Mr. Matheson belongs to an athletic club and will also occasionally drop in at other gyms to take classes. He estimates his gym fees add up to about $200 a month. Fees for his soccer league cost about $75 per season.

Mr. Matheson has a single-speed, fixed-gear commuter bike that cost about $1,000. His Cervelo Soloist racing bike cost about $3,000.”

Now, it makes sense to me that the Wall Street Journal, which is after all dedicated to all things financial, would include some cost analysis. My estimate, based upon the figures in the article, are that Mr. Matheson spends approximately $4,500 a year (assuming that the bikes don’t need annual replacement, but do need tuneups, new tires, etc.). That isn’t chump change, and it made me start thinking about how much I spend on my running habit. I have to say that this is not a cheap hobby.

Typically I shell out between $15 and $20 per race, plus $40 a year for membership to New York Road Runners. Last year when I was qualifying for the marathon, I ran 10 races, so let’s say around $200 plus the $40 membership. Then there’s shoes: I buy two pairs a year at around $120 a pair (I like Mizunos, which are apparently more expensive). Orthotics are another $40 per pair of shoes. Socks, sports bras and shorts are another $200 or so ($70 per bra, $30-$40 for shorts). I don’t buy running tops, but I do like my gear: Garmin 405, iPod, specialized sport headphones. Marathon registration was another $170, plus there’s the copays from physical therapy required for running-related injuries. I’d say that I spend at least a $1000 per year on my supposedly inexpensive hobby.

It takes time, too. I could spend the time doing many other things (reading? I miss fiction.), but at the end of the day, running is my therapy. It’s time I purchase for myself, and the achievements last longer than any mani-pedi or sample sale shopping spree. By spending money on quality gear, I make the time I spend running as comfortable as possible. And that, to my mind, is money well spent – when it must be spent.

How do you reconcile the cost of running with your well-being? How are you coping with the expenses of sports activities in light of the recession?

Gear Review: Head Phones, Sport Bras

If you’re a woman who runs, there are three pieces of equipment which are absolutely essential to get right, because the consequences of getting them wrong are, at minimum, extreme discomfort. These three things are worth spending a little money on to get right. I’m going to talk about two of these things today: head phones and sports bras.

Head phones take a little trial and error. The biggest thing to look for when shopping for them is to look for a reasonable return policy – at least 30 days, and you want to be able to return items when the package has already been open. Unfortunately these terms can be hard to find on the Internet, so it’s worth checking your local stores. While doing some research beforehand can help narrow down the possible candidates, there’s nothing like trial and error for finding the right headphones.

Recently I bought a pair of Sennheiser PMX70 Sport Headphones. While I could have spent more for the newer PMX80s, the price difference was enough to make me opt for the earlier version. Also I preferred green to orange.

I had some qualms about the shape of the speakers, since one of my less successful experiments with listening devices has involved earbuds. I’ve been using noise-canceling covered-ear headphones for several years, but recently the buildup of sweat has become too gross to contemplate putting on my head. One thing I hate about earbuds is how they leak sound – anyone who has ever sat next to someone wearing them on in close quarters can hear everything they are listening to. Apart from the annoyance factor, earbuds are really bad for your hearing.

The Sennheiser PMX70s are leaky, although not quite as bad as earbuds. I was willing to try them because I wanted something that doesn’t cover my ears during hot summer runs, that would stand up to sweat, and that would allow me to hear my environment better. My noise canceling headphones were great for blocking out catcalls, but they did make me less safe by making it easier for me to tune out my environment. The PMX70s balance my competing objectives quite nicely.

Not only did I not have to crank up the volume on my iPod to hear the music, the sound was easily drowned out by the fanfare at the beginning of the race. I can hear the ring of bicycle bells when running along the West Side Highway, and they aren’t so tight that they pinch my ears as some have reported. My only complaints are that the cord only comes out the left side, and if you don’t have a handy pocket that arrangement can be awkward, and that the headband part is really, really big. As in Sasquatch big. It sticks out almost two inches from the back of my head. This is an aesthetic issue only, however, since it doesn’t move around while I run. And having tested this in the Brooklyn Half Marathon, I think it’ll work fine for the full distance in November.

The second thing that women need to get right is sports bras. I’m an unusual size, so I’ve been experimenting with sports bra solutions for years. My usual favorite brand is Moving Comfort, which makes bras in a broader range of sizes than most manufacturers, but I’m finding that over long distances the underwire is chafing me to the point of bleeding. It could be that my bras are simply old, so today I trudged up to Paragon Sports and spent a lot of time trying on bras with the generous help of their sales staff.

(Out-of-towners who will be in New York for the marathon: Paragon is a great resource for your last-minute running needs, but it is also constantly mobbed. Once you track someone down, the staff are helpful, but sometimes finding someone can be a trick.)

I came away with one bra, from Enell. I haven’t used it yet, so I’m cautiously optimistic that this will be a chafe-free solution to my underwire problem. The press is good – apparently Oprah is a fan, so if it keeps her girls from flinging about like a couple of kids in a bouncy castle, I’ll give it a try – but the real test will be my weekly long run. More soon!

I also plan to buy another Moving Comfort bra, either the Helena or the Calli. I haven’t decided yet, so if anyone has either bra and an opinion about it, I’d love to hear from you.

If you get the essentials right, you can more or less fudge on things like shorts, t-shirts, singlets, headgear and the like. As long as it doesn’t chafe, bounce, or cause blisters, and it does what it is supposed to do, there’s no reason to spend a ton of money on equipment for running. Unless you have and you want to, of course; the decision is up to you, based on your budget and needs.

Oh, that third thing? Shoes. Get some good running shoes. This should be really obvious, but I do see people running in Converse, which is just so seventies and so WRONG. Jack Rabbit Sports will record you running on a treadmill and make shoe recommendations based on your gait, so there’s no reason to run in bad or uncomfortable shoes.

Running is a pain in the…

You know that kid’s song that goes, “Hambone’s connected to the…thigh bone…thigh bone’s connected to the…butt bone…butt bone’s connected to the…foot bone” and so on and so forth? It was not nearly as good a teaching tool for anatomy as running is.

This week I have been in a world of hurt. I have a pretty decent clue as to why: I ran ten miles through Prospect Park last weekend. For those who have not experienced the joys of Prospect Park, it is a) in Brooklyn, and b) really pretty, and c) way hillier than my usual stomping ground along the East River Park. In the ERP I have to run up ramps to get hill workouts, and they’re closer to bump workouts. There’s a little amphitheater at Corlears Hook that you can get a bit of elevation from, but otherwise it is as flat as the midwestern states I left behind years ago. It’s really easy to do my unbelievably consistent pace of ten-minute-miles (I have been told that I am “a robot” which I don’t really appreciate since I would LOVE TO BUST INTO THE NINE-MINUTE-MILE ZONE, but my legs just aren’t cooperating) on this lovely flat surface.

The other reason I am in pain this week is because of my best running friend, my Garmin Forerunner 405. Because it wasn’t enough just to finish the race in Prospect Park last weekend, I had to stay on pace, too. The Garmin says so and the Garmin is never wrong. Ever. Except when it says I have five miles left to go and it really means five hundred meters, it’s just forgotten that we were supposed to stop soon.

So in order of magnitude, I broke all of the rules for ramping up your running program: I added too much mileage (three miles last week), I added too much speed (my first-ever 2-mile tempo run) and I added too much difficulty (lots of hills). Any one of those would have been fine, but together they were just too much. The hill squiggles on my Garmin’s running report looked like a diagram of the recent stock market, as opposed to its more usual resemblance to the electrocardiogram of a cardiac arrest victim.

So now I am intimately connected to body parts I hardly knew existed. I mean, are there weights for your hip flexors? How on earth do you make those stronger? It’s amazing what a combination of running and a little internet research can teach you about anatomy. Kids, trust me, you will barely remeber that stupid song in thirty years. It is not an effective instructional tool. Wikipedia tells me that the butt bone is actually called the “pelvis.” Who knew? And I thought a hambone was something you fed dogs before dog food came in bags.

So what am I gonna do about the pain? Run another ten miles tomorrow, that’s what.

But I think I’ll leave my pace bunny at home and take the camera instead so I can finally get some pictures onto this site.  Sound fair, butt bones or whatever you are?